reality's fantasy

Monday, July 10, 2006

The Coolest Bots

Hello there people. Firstly I want to apologise for not having posted anything on here in a while. I wish I could say there is a genuine reason why I havent been updating the site with regular blogs but there really isnt. The truth is I've just been lazy, but I do intend to try my possible best to post a new blog every two weeks at least.....soooo enjoy the new blog and sing along to the song.

Look out! Look out!
Cool Robots on parade
Here they come!
Hippety hoppety
They're here and there
Cool Robots everywhere

Ok, I stole some of that off Disney’s Dumbo, but you pretty much get the whole gist of what I’m getting at and if you don’t just read on…erm…reader.

For this blog I’ve made up a list of (IMO...just had to clarify that before some nerd comes on here and bites my head off for being wrong on the list) coolest fictional robots.

I don’t want to get into some lengthy explanation of what a robot is, so I’ll just give a brief summary of what I consider to be a robot and what I will and will not include on the list of Cool Bots.

Robots are intelligent devices that are - mostly and usually – mechanical. They can be operated or controlled directly by a human being or operate on their own by the means of Artificial Intelligence.

So this list can include: Droids, Mobile Battle Suits, and even Nanobots. So here we go:


Mr and Mrs Roboto.



10. KITT



While all the other robots on the list all have physical humanoid type features, KITT seperates itself by having none of those (even Mek-Quake of the ABC Warriors had a face, well some sort of face). With KITT, it was just a cool and slick looking car that talked.Even though KITT had a number of cool gadgets and features, the Coolest thing about KITT was his personality. KITT reminded me of refined Johnny 5 being that it was sarcastic, funny and intelligent but with class.

9. Bender



The Hedonistic, Kleptomanical, narcissistic, alcoholic and self obsessed robot gets the number 9 spot on my list and if you dont like it why dont you just bite my shiny metal ass (hey I couldnt put him on the list and not quote that line).


8. ABC Warriors


The ABC Warriors might not have been too popular amongst the American comicbook readers (even most Brits will not be familiar with them) in fact the ABC Warrriors are probably only popular amongst deep comic heads but i'm not here to talk about their popularity, i'm here to talk about their overall awesomeness. I wish they would have would have got higher up on my list because i hold them in high regard but alas I could not.

The ABC in ABC Warriors stood for Atomic, Biological and Chemical, forms of warfare which human beings could not survive but the robots were designed to. I cannot go into the history of the ABC warriors because it is just too long and there are other robots to go through. I cannot even post pictures of the members all I can do is post a link that has detailed history and information on the members....please check it out if you're interested in reading about narcissistic transvestite robots (Joe Pineapples) or occultic robots that are highly skilled in treachery (Blackblood).
411 on ABC


7. Robby The Robot



I am sure some of you are not familiar with Robby the Robot but recognize it's iconic figure. Robby's first appearance was in (one of the greatest science fiction films ever made) Forbidden Planet (which if you have not already watched it I suggest you stop reading this right now and get on that). Before Robby, robots in films had been very bland and were only seen as mechanical devices. Robbby brought personality to the screens and was even supposed to be first robot to walk (even though it looked very clumsy). Robby gets a cool 7 spot on the list for not just defining how robots in films looked and acted but for also being one cool mutha.


6. T800


What can I possibily say about The Terminator T800 that you dont already know. It was possibily the only films were people actually saw that Arnold Schwarzenegger could act. I mean a machine that looks human but kills without remorse or emotion, you know how hard it is to pull of that part, the only other person thats done it better than Arnie is Robert Patrick.


5. T1000



A Liquified Killing Machine. Seriously whoever came up with the idea for the T1000 deserves an award (I dont know what award would be appropriate but something that sounds really impressive). His body could take the shape of any sharp basic weapon and could morph and impersonate people, I dont know about you but thats pretty fucking cool in my books. The T1000 beats the T800 any day because of his superior features for killing and lack of Austrian accent.


4.Data



The naive and highly intelligent robot from Star Trek: Next Generation series gets number 4 spot on my list. He was eccentric, innocent, and always trying to learn what it was to be human. One of the really cool things about him was the fact that he didnt move like the cliche robot but there was still something very mechanical and alien about the way he moved. Data's weird and quirky personality, his ignorance in the simplest of emotions and above average intelligence made him not just my favourite character in the show but also one of the most memorable and coolest characters in the history of all Star Trek.


3. Voltron



Like KITT, Voltron sperates itself from the others on the list but in a very different way from KITT. While KITT had no human type features it had a personality that more than made up for it. Voltron on the other hand, had Human features but no real personality. Voltron was giant robot made up of five other robots (Lion robots) and controlled by five young pilots (each controlling the limb or part with which they formed) without any of the pilots Voltron could not function and thus making him the only robot on the list that lacked any form of personality or emotion, it could not even speak a single word.

So why have I put it so high up on the list, you may ask yourself, well Voltron itself might have lacked personality but its pilots gave it personality and pizazz. And the viewers were always dying to see how Voltron would dispatch whatever enemy was on that day. It usually ended up with Voltron slicing them up with it's magic sword, but the technique in which he used his sword that day was what most people were trying to see.


2.Transformers



Whenever I think of The Transformers some peice of my childhood resounds within my heart and i feel a sense of sweet nostalgia that will forver be lost to me. I know that sounds a bit far fetched but its true to the word. I remember waking up on early saturday mornings, running downstairs and sitting on the floor in front of the television just to see my favourite robots in disguise kick some (in the words of number 9, Bender) metalic shiny ass and I know that feeling of innocence and looking at the world through a view of utter awe will never be regained.

I do not feel there is any need for me to go into how and why the Transformers were so awesome, chances are if you were an 80s/90s child (GO US!!!) you already know and if you dont know, well you should stopped reading at number 10.


1. R2D2



You know one of the reasons why it took so bloody long for me to post this blog was that I could not think of exactly what to write about R2. Truthfully I've found myself sitting in a position for hours and just wondering what I could possibily say about R2 to justify why he (and I'm not even sure if it was a Male Bot or not) but i couldnt think of a single thing. In the end I decieded to just start typing and see what my fingers come up with.

Why should R2D2 be number 1 in a list of coolest fictional robots? well one reason is that he is part of one of the greatest Science fiction films ever made but that fact alone is not why I put him up on the list.Another reason is that R2 seemed to be a mutli taskable robot capable of doing some freaking nifty things and that appealed to practically all children, but that is not why I decied to put him as number one either.

One thing that made all these robots so cool to us as we grew up was that we all wanted them to exsist or dreamed that they did or they could at some time be a reality, but in none of the others has that actually seemed possible unless in the case and for that alone I think Artoo deserves to be number one, and I believe thats all I need to say about R2.